drunk

Picture this scenario: you are in grade school, having lunch in the cafeteria, and all of a sudden someone yells out “food fight!”

Breathalyzer tests have long been the standard for law enforcement officers to determine who’s driving while intoxicated. But they may have met their match in a new product called Breathalyzer Equalizer. The team that came up with the item will really blow you away.

Drinking on the job is never a good idea, and that goes double when your chosen profession includes illegal activities that can send you to prison. We’re referring, of course, to this Russian dude who was caught having a little post-drinking nap in a woman’s house when he was supposed to be robbing the place. Seriously, it’s just unprofessional.

Sometimes you just stumble into the wrong house after a night of drinking — but you don’t usually miss the house by 20 miles.

A tipsy pop is in hot water after reportedly allowing his 10-year-old son to act as his designated driver. (Yes, you read that right.) Even worse, we’ve seen this sort of  thing before.

Any police officer will tell you that dealing with a drunk driver can be extremely strange. After all, drunk people aren’t noted for their calm, reasonable reactions to a stressful situation, or their refusal to engage in ridiculous hijinks. Still, one drunk driver might take the cake, considering that he had a monkey for the officers.

A story like this only comes around maybe once in a lifetime. Picture a “ferry” filled to the brim with college kids getting absolutely hammered then stripping down to their birthday suits and just wreaking havoc.

Big props to this poor boy in Canada for belting out one of the most elaborate songs ever written while intoxicated and on his way to the clink.

Florida law enforcement arrested two women after they became unruly in a bar by offering to show their breasts for alcohol. After their proposition was rejected, things got violent.

Paul McCartney surprised Howard Stern with a phone call over the holiday break which inspired Stern to go on a drunken dialing spree on New Year’s Eve. The Beatle and his newlywed Nancy Shevell called to wish Stern and his wife Beth, a Merry Christmas.

We’ve all seen examples of dumb calls made to 911 before. But the age of handheld technology has now introduced a new form of abuse where 911 is used as iPhone support.

In London, one pub has gone to the dogs … literally. A pub called The Mucky Pup has recently added canines to its clientele. And why not? After a long, hard day of playing fetch, even dogs need a place to unwind where everyone barks their name.